upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
