sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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