Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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