So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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