worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
