Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
