i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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