this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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