i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
