At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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