we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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