Kiss
Puke
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The adults are the big ones right?
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