Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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