The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
