Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
