No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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