I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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