We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
