just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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