Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just cut my nipple shaving
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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