You smell like stripper and shame
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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