I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This toilet bowl is my home.
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