I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
