By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
