Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
