I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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