i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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