he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
did i just pee glitter
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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