Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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