Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
