I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
