At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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