So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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