In the future we'll all be gay
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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