if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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