It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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