i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
