Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
