I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
