It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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