dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
