The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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