It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
