grandma shit on top of the toilet
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
