I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
