No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
