i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
