I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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