God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize