Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
