I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
