The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
