from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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