we have officially lost it.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
