Its about making memories worth repressing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
