She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
