I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
