im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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