Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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