Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up

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(305): View more from Florida

you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

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(516): View more from New York

Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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(602): View more from Arizona

I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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(330): View more from Ohio

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

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(332): View more from

Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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(616): View more from Michigan

This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you mean still drunk

(203): View more from Connecticut

I've heard it both ways

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(914): View more from New York

I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?

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