if only i could text you this smell
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
