Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
