once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
