Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
