I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
