Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's always time for handjobs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
