my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
