someone get that fucking seahorse.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
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This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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