I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
